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2 yr. ago
More Unsolicited Parenting Advice
We’ve all run into those insufferable types before in our lives.
You know the kind. Total strangers who somehow think they’ve earned the right to micro-manage how you raise your kids
just seconds after meeting you. And the kicker is when they aren’t even parents themselves. What would they know?
After a long afternoon of dropping items into a shopping cart, me and my preschooler had almost finished the weekly grocery haul.
We were on our way to the checkout counter when a lady at a near-
by promotional kiosk summoned my attention.
“Hello ma’am, could I please have a moment of your time?” the apron-clad woman chirped
from behind her booth.
Spying the unfinished Coke Zero can Ivy was drinking, this lady scrunched up her face in disapproval.
The next words out of her mouth made my blood boil.
“I see that your little princess is drinking a canned soda. Ooh, that’s not so great. Have you considered trying our special, 100% natural vitamin juices? Here, try a sample.”
Instantly, her hand shot out with a small plastic cup filled with liquid. Taken aback by her boldness
I tried to remain somewhat polite.
“Thank you, but we’re not interested,” I answered curtly.
Something was so unsettling about her fake smile and shrill enthusiasm.
“A girl as young as her shouldn’t be drinking soda. It’s full of sugars and unhealthy preservatives. Let me throw that away for you-”
Without any hesitation, she reached down to pry the can out of my daughter’s hands.
I could not believe the audacity of this woman.
“Excuse me!” I snapped, finally losing my composure.
“How dare you try and take my daughter’s drink!”
“But miss, this is much healthier for your angel,” protested the creepy woman
waving her strange-looking syrup at us.
“Surely you don’t want her to be sickened by all those dangerous chemicals-”
“If you don’t leave us alone, I will report you to the supervisor!”
With that, we turned and began strolling away from said relentless salesperson. Only once we were in-
to the parking lot did I feel myself calming down.
Gosh, that lady really freaked me out.
What are the odds someone would randomly try to discard my daughter’s soda
on today of all days.
The one day I chose to put poisson in it.
That rare, traceless toxin I slipped into her soda can earlier today cost me a fortune to order from overseas. The bubbles from the carbonation mask any taste of the thing, making it the perfect delivery system for it. My oblivious daughter would've been dēαd within the hour..
Oh, how I wish people would keep their parenting advice to themselves. It’s not needed.
I know how to kıll my own kid just fine, thank you very much!