A PLANKTON FAMILY STORY vi
(By NeuroFabulous)
Outside, the corridor was cold
and empty, the neon lights of the
Chum Bucket flickering above them.
Karen's eyes were filled with a sadness
that Chip had never seen before.
"Why did I say those things?" Chip
asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it."
Karen took a deep breath,
trying to compose herself. "Your dad's
autism is life-long," she said, her voice
shaky. "It's not something that
you can just ignore or wish away."
Her hand rested on his shoulder,
warm and comforting. "But it doesn't
make him any less of a person, or any
less of a father. He loves you so much,
Chip. More than you'll ever know."
Chip nodded, his eyes still
on the floor. "But I hurt him,"
he said, his voice a whisper.
"I don't know how to take it back."
Karen's grip tightened on his
shoulder. "You will," she assured
him, her voice steady despite her
own emotions. "You'll learn to understand,
and you'll tell him you're sorry. But
right now, let's just give him some
space."
They walked down the corridor,
each step echoing in the silence.
"But why does Dad get so upset?"
Chip asked, his voice still shaky.
"Is it becau…"
"His emotions can be intense,"
Karen explained, her voice gentle.
"It's part of his autism, Chip.
Sometimes, things that seem small to us
can feel really big to him." She paused,
her gaze distant as she searched
for the right words. "Imagine if someone
kept turning the lights on and off
while you were trying to read a book.
It's like that for him, but with sounds,
and feelings."
Chip frowned, trying to
comprehend. "But why does he get so mad
at me?" His voice was small, filled
with a sadness that tugged at Karen's
heart.
Karen sighed, her eyes full
of empathy. "Your dad's brain works
differently, honey," she said, her
tone soft. "Sometimes things can be
overwhelming for him. And when he's
overwhelmed, his feelings can get really
big, like a wave that crashes down
and covers everything." She paused,
considering her words carefully. "It's not
because he doesn't love you. It's just
how he deals with things."
Chip nodded slowly, his eyes
still red and swollen from crying.
"But why does he freeze up?" he asked,
his voice barely above a whisper. "It's like
he's not even there."
Karen's gaze softened, her hand
still on his shoulder. "Sometimes,
his brain gets too full, and he ends
up having an absence seizure, where
he just sort of... goes away for a bit.
It's like his brain is taking a
quick vacation," she said, trying to
make it relatable for Chip. "But he's
always right here."
Chip looked up at her, his eyes
filled with a mix of confusion and
fear. "But why does he do that?"
he whispered. "Is he okay?"
Karen's hand squeezed his shoulder,
her eyes full of warmth. "It's a part of
his autism, sweetie," she said, her voice
soft. "When things get too much, his brain
automatically just... takes a break. It's
not something he does on purpose,
it's just his body's way of coping."
"But it scares me," Chip admitted,
his voice shaking slightly. "It feels
like he's gone."
Karen nodded, her eyes brimming
with understanding. "I know it's
scary, honey," she said, her voice
soothing. "But it's important to
remember that it's just his brain
taking a little break. It doesn't mean
he doesn't love you or isn't there
for you."
"But how do I know when it's going
to happen?" Chip's voice was
filled with a desperate need to
understand, to control the chaos
his father's condition had brought
into his life.
Karen took a deep breath, her eyes
full of compassion. "You can't always
know, Chip," she said gently. "But you
can learn to recognize the signs."
Her hand slid down to his, giving it
a comforting squeeze. "When he starts
getting upset, or if you see him getting
overwhelmed, that's when you know
he might need some space or a quiet
moment to regroup."
"But why does he hate hugs?"
Chip's question hung in the air, filled
with the innocence of a child seeking
understanding.
Karen took a deep breath, trying
to find the right words. "It's not that he hates
hugs, Chip," she said, her voice gentle.
"It's just that sometimes, certain textures or
pressures can be really overwhelming for
him. It's like if someone was tickling you
non-stop, even when you asked them to
stop—it would drive you crazy, right?"
Chip thought about it, nodding
slowly. "But I don't get it," he said.
"Why can't he just get used to it? I've
seen you hug..."
"It's not that simple," Karen
interrupted gently. "I know you don't
understand, but hugs can be really
difficult for your dad. His body can't always
make sense of the sensation, and it can
feel like too much all at once."
Chip frowned, his eyes
searching hers for
answers. "But both of
you hug each other,"
he pointed out. "Why.."
"It's different for me,"
Karen said, her voice
soft. "Your dad's senses are
like a radio that's always tuned in
too loud. Sometimes, when we
hug, it's like turning the volume down
just enough for him to handle it."
Her smile was sad but patient.
"It's taken us years to figure
out what works for us, Chip.
Everyone's different, even with
autism."
Chip nodded, trying to
understand. "But what do I do
when he doesn't want to hug?"
he asked, his voice tentative.
"What if I just want to show
him I love him?"
Karen's eyes searched his,
seeing the raw emotion beneath
the surface. "You can show
him in other ways," she said,
smiling gently. "Words, or
just sitting near him, or even
just being patient with him
when he's having a tough time."
Chip considered this, his brow
furrowed in thought. "But I want to
make him happy," he said, his
voice earnest. "How do I do that?"
Karen's smile was sad, but
understood. "You do that by
loving him, Chip," she said, her
voice filled with warmth. "By accepting
him for who he is and not trying
to change him. By being patient when
he needs space, and by being there
when he's ready for company. He
does enjoy helping you with your
experiments, doesn't he?"
Chip nodded, remembering
the times his dad had been most
engaged and happy. "Yeah," he said, a
small smile tugging at his lips. "He's
the best at science."
Karen's smile grew a little
wider at this. "That's because
his brain works differently,"
she said. "Sometimes, the way
he processes information can
make certain things easier for
him to understand and enjoy."
"But what if I don't know what
to do?" Chip's voice was
filled with a desperate
need for guidance. "What if
I make him upset?"
Karen looked into her son's
worried eyes and took a deep
breath. "You'll learn, Chip. We all do.
Your dad has his own ways of
communicating, even if they're
not always verbal. Sometimes,
it's just about paying attention."
"What do you mean?"
Chip's eyes searched hers.
Karen took a moment before
answering, her gaze drifting to
a spot over his head. "Look for the
little things, Chip," she said, her voice
thoughtful. "Like how his antennas move,
or the way his eye looks. Sometimes,
his body will tell you more than his
words can. I know when he's happy because
his antennas perk up and his eye
twinkles."
Chip watched her intently, his
mind racing with questions. "What
about when he's sad?" he asked, his voice
small.
Karen's gaze softened, her
thumb gently stroking the back of
his hand. "When he's sad, his antennas
drop down," she said.
Chip nodded, his eyes
studying her intently.
"And when
he's mad?"
Karen's expression grew more
serious. "When he's angry,
his antennas might go stiff and
his brow can get really rigid,"
she explained. "It's his way of
saying 'I'm overwhelmed, and I
need you to back off.'"
Chip nodded slowly, taking it all in.
"And when do you know how he'd
like to accept a hug?"
Karen looked thoughtful. "Well,
his body language will give you clues,"
she said. "If his antennas are relaxed
and pointing slightly towards you,
it might mean he's open to one. But
always ask, okay?"
Chip nodded, feeling a bit
more hopeful. "How do I tell
if he's uncomfortable with
touch?" he asked, his eyes
wide with concern.
Karen squeezed his hand. "Look
for the signs," she said. "If his
body stiffens or his antennas
pull back, it's usually a clue
that he's not enjoying it." She
smiled softly. "But remember, everyone's
different, even within the spectrum.
What works for one person with
autism might not work for your dad."
Chip nodded, his eyes wide with
understanding. "Okay," he said,
his voice small. "But what different
types of touch..."
"It's all about sensory input,"
Karen said, cutting him off gently.
"Some textures and sensations might
feel like sandpaper to him, while others
might be soothing. It's a delicate
balance, and it's different for
everyone. But for your dad, he often
prefers gentle, predictable touches.
Like a soft touch on the arm. But he
tends to dislike sudden hugs or pats
on the back, or a squeeze of the shoulder."
Her eyes searched Chip's, looking
for any signs of doubt or confusion.
"But always ask before you touch
him," she added. "It's important to respect
his boundaries."
Chip nodded, his mind racing. "But
what if he doesn't say anything?"
he asked. "How will I know?"
Karen sighed, her eyes
reflecting the years of experience.
"That's the tough part, Chip," she
admitted. "Sometimes, your dad can't
find the words. But if you pay
close attention, you'll see the signs."
"Signs?" Chip's voice was
filled with uncertainty.
Karen nodded solemnly. "When he
starts to get overwhelmed, his
body will show it," she said.
"His antennas might jerk, or his
eye might dart around the room.
Sometimes, he'll repeat words or phrases
over and over, like he's trying
to find the right one to express
how he feels."