r/shortscarystories
4 yr. ago
GuyAwks
Take Her Swimming on the First Date
Fake lips, fake eyelashes, fake brows, fake complexion, fake curves and fake hair.
All that and no wonder blokes donât trust women nowadays.
I ring the doorbell and my date answers, looking just as stunning as when Iâd asked her out at the pub. Anthea is a Mediterranean beauty, dark blondie hair framing her bandage dress, her olive skin radiant. But thatâs just how she looks. Me and my mates know looks can be deceiving.
The amount of foundation some of these stuck-up birds in our neighbourhood trowel on is atrocious. Who gave them the idea that vain cakefaces are what guys dig? Everyone always jokes about how, if you donât want to wake up next to a 2, you need to take her swimming first.
Well, Iâm not joking tonight.
âWhere are we heading?â Anthea coyly asks from my passenger seat. âI hope Iâm not overdressed.â
âHmmâ I reply. âI was thinking we could take a walk by the shore, sit on the pier and...just relax.â
âSure, that sounds like a nice first date! Just...no swimming okay?â
Typical princess, I think smugly as I nod. What Miss Perfect doesnât know is that Iâm actually planning a midnight dip in the sea for her. Itâll be the ultimate gagâ of an ice queen melting after Iâve tossed her off the pier.
âTonight was wonderful, Alfieâ Anthea swoons to me later that evening, dangling her legs over the jetty.
Now itâs finally showtime. Interlocking my fingers with hers, I suddenly send the two of us lurching into the water.
As I surface, I expect to see running mascara and waterlogged extensions.
Indeed, my dateâs form is beginning to melt away. But what Iâm glimpsing is...skin shedding into scales...fingers melding into webbed claws. I can only tread water as the woman metamorphosizes into a serpentine monster before my eyes.
Whatever illusion this creature had going, seawater has clearly broken itâand Anthea is not happy.
âWe could have had so much more fun togetherâ she hisses, incensed. âThis is premature.â
With that, the sea siren viciously seizes me and drags me underneath the waves, her voice echoing on as water fills my lungs.
âI only take men to sea on the last date.â