r/shortscarystories
4 yr. ago
GuyAwks
Take Her Swimming on the First Date
Fake lips, fake eyelashes, fake brows, fake complexion, fake curves and fake hair.
All that and no wonder blokes donโt trust women nowadays.
I ring the doorbell and my date answers, looking just as stunning as when Iโd asked her out at the pub. Anthea is a Mediterranean beauty, dark blondie hair framing her bandage dress, her olive skin radiant. But thatโs just how she looks. Me and my mates know looks can be deceiving.
The amount of foundation some of these stuck-up birds in our neighbourhood trowel on is atrocious. Who gave them the idea that vain cakefaces are what guys dig? Everyone always jokes about how, if you donโt want to wake up next to a 2, you need to take her swimming first.
Well, Iโm not joking tonight.
โWhere are we heading?โ Anthea coyly asks from my passenger seat. โI hope Iโm not overdressed.โ
โHmmโ I reply. โI was thinking we could take a walk by the shore, sit on the pier and...just relax.โ
โSure, that sounds like a nice first date! Just...no swimming okay?โ
Typical princess, I think smugly as I nod. What Miss Perfect doesnโt know is that Iโm actually planning a midnight dip in the sea for her. Itโll be the ultimate gagโ of an ice queen melting after Iโve tossed her off the pier.
โTonight was wonderful, Alfieโ Anthea swoons to me later that evening, dangling her legs over the jetty.
Now itโs finally showtime. Interlocking my fingers with hers, I suddenly send the two of us lurching into the water.
As I surface, I expect to see running mascara and waterlogged extensions.
Indeed, my dateโs form is beginning to melt away. But what Iโm glimpsing is...skin shedding into scales...fingers melding into webbed claws. I can only tread water as the woman metamorphosizes into a serpentine monster before my eyes.
Whatever illusion this creature had going, seawater has clearly broken itโand Anthea is not happy.
โWe could have had so much more fun togetherโ she hisses, incensed. โThis is premature.โ
With that, the sea siren viciously seizes me and drags me underneath the waves, her voice echoing on as water fills my lungs.
โI only take men to sea on the last date.โ