ā¢ I'm an idiot and I do stupid things. Please be patient with me.
ā¢ If I can't bring my dog, I'm not going.
ā¢ I'm in another world right now. Please leave a message after the tone.
ā¢ I'm too tired to think of a clever bio.
ā¢ I'm a hot mess.
ā¢ I'm in a committed relationship with <your fav food/show/brand/website/etc>.
ā¢ Please don't talk to me.
ā¢ By reading this you legally forgo any right to unfollow me.
ā¢ I'm a nice person, but if you cross me, I will cry.
ā¢ I hope you like cats, because I have approximately eleventy billion of them.
ā¢ A baddie with a good heart.
ā¢ I'm the type of person who will accidentally drop food on the floor and then just stare at it for a while.
ā¢ I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social.
ā¢ I'm not rude, I'm honest.