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If it’s a same day appointment without any preparation beforehand, still let them know any needs. Even if it’s not worth it to spend nearly an hour on preparing something especially for you, still let them know what might work best for you. If they need to use a speculum, ask for a small one! Even if they can’t use all their time convincing you of how convenient something might be, still tell them if you cannot do certain methods while feeling safe. Is there something on hand to relieve even a little pain? Can it be self administered at home? Can you sit in a different chair? If you cannot possibly resolve something as much as you’d like, ask for them to at least tell you what’s going on and ask how they might cope with similar sensations. Can an X-ray be done instead of a biopsy? If not, ask for them to take your concerns into account and go from there, such as a less invasive tool designed for the same purpose.
Wear a long skirt or a dress so you can just pull it up rather than take your clothes off. You can also bring a jacket or different pants to change into.
Take headphones and listen to music, explain you're nervous and would not like to hear much about what's going on but just to be told when they've started and when they've finished. Focus in on what you're listening to.
Say if it’s your first time doing a certain procedure and mention your concerns. Acknowledge you understand people don’t necessarily enjoy it for fun. Knowing can make you less anxious. It’s definitely worth asking something like ‘I do find this procedure extremely painful, could you try with a X?’ The procedure is easier for them to perform if you’re not squirming around in pain so there’s no reason for them not to at least try.
Pamper yourself. Count as you breathe. Breathe in 1-2-3-4. Breathe out 1-2-3-4. If the doctor's good, they'll keep you talking and talk to you for further distraction, and walk you through each step they take. Most of the time, certain tests don't take much longer than 30 seconds and afterwards they'll leave you alone so you can recover if you need it. Talk to them beforehand so they know you're anxious, and see what they can do to help you get through it. Knowing options are always open to you if you need it can help put you at ease.
Knowing what certain tests feel like can make it go smoother and easier to manage. Mentally walk yourself through the procedure before it happens while doing slow breathing exercises - breath in for five counts and out for five (or longer) while walking yourself through what to expect with your eyes closed. If at any point you get nervous, keep breathing and open your eyes. Once comfortable, continue through the procedure and just keep breathing.
Don’t dismiss true concerns so you can decide what might be best for you. Gather all available facts to make informed decisions with the medics. Discuss the procedure with the medic and what they will do and when it happens. While the procedure happens, ask them to explain what which thing it is they’re doing next and how it might feel. Tell them if at any point you express discomfort, they check in with you and do not proceed until you give them the green light. Make sure nothing is put in you if you have not consented to or understand the purpose of. It’ll help you stay in some control if you are allowed to say if you wanted to stop at any given time to get through it. Anyone could find any experience distressing, but one’s distress can be magnified by the facts of how they are autistic, traumatized, etc. Just like with any other condition, doctors should have to take into account a particular person in their office and adjust what they’re doing to meet the needs of said patient.
Jot down in advance everything you want to discuss to know exactly why, when and how something is to be. Ask for details and mention anything. Think about the muscles in your legs as you close your eyes. Imagine you’re at home, or think of a show. Anything to make it seem less intimidating. Give them notes you’ve taken. Ask if you can pace. Even if you aren’t a child, you still may need the catering even if you understand what medics are for. Make kits. Ask them to listen to you and to take time with you to make it more comforting. Advocate as feedback.
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