You will never be a real nazi. You have no gas chambers, you have no mass assisination pits, you have no political power. You are a 14-year old boy warped by internet lunatics and attempting to be unique and edgy into a crude mockery of a non-existent regime.
All the "political support" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "friends" laugh at your ghoulish beliefs behind closed doors.
People are utterly repulsed by you. Decades of political evolution have allowed people to realize your actual intentions. Even white nationalists that couch their language in enough plausible deniability Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to win one election, you'll lose the second people inevitably find a videotape of you ranting about racist nonsense.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a self-hating minority is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably non-white.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.