STORYTIME PART 2: When Luca Found Out I Stole His Man… And Then WE Found Out We ALL Got Played.
Y’ALL. Y’ALL. Y’ALL.
I did NOT think this situation could get worse—but OH BOY, DID IT.
So let’s backtrack. If you missed Part 1, basically:
Luca, my ex-best friend, stole my kitten when we were
7 years old and gave her back 12 years later… as ASHES in a plastic bag.
In revenge, I accidentally stole his boyfriend, Henry.
We hooked up behind Luca’s back. Oops.
WELL. HENRY FELT GUILTY.
So, this man just decides to CONFESS EVERYTHING to Luca.
And lemme tell you, when Luca found out? HE. LOST. IT.
So fast forward to this party, right? I’m out here, minding my business,
looking cute, living my best life.
And then BOOM—in storms Luca, foaming at the mouth like a damn rabid dog,
looking ready to end my entire bloodline.
He’s screaming:
“WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS THAT SNAKE-ASS BITCH?!”
I pretend I don’t hear him.
But then Henry, this idiot, has the AUDACITY to say:
“Uh… she’s right there.”
LIKE??? BABE. WHY.
So Luca locks eyes with me, and I just KNOW it’s about to go down.
He lunges at me, fists clenched, but BABY—I came prepared.
I pull out my pepper spray, hit him RIGHT in the face, and this man
SCREAMS like he just got possessed by a demon.
I’m talking:
“AHHHHHHHH, MY EYES! MY F*ING EYES!!”
EVERYONE is watching. It’s a WHOLE scene.
Then, out of nowhere, this random-ass girl appears,
clinging onto Henry like a lost puppy, and she’s like:
“Um… what’s going on?”
Me and Luca—BOTH temporarily setting aside our differences—look at her and go:
“WHO THE F*ck ARE YOU?''
And she, still clutching onto Henry, goes:
“Um… I’m Emma… Henry’s girlfriend?”
…..EXCUSE ME?
Henry looks like he just got hit by a freight train.
He’s sweating, eyes darting around like he’s planning his own escape route.
Luca and I look at each other.
Then Luca turns back to Henry, cracks his knuckles, and says:
“That’s crazy because I’M Henry’s boyfriend. And Priscilla over here?
She’s ALSO his girlfriend.”
SILENCE.
Emma? She’s stunned.
Then—out of nowhere—this girl lets out a SCREAM,
jumps on Henry, and starts BEATING HIS ASS.
AND LUCA?
HE JOINS IN.
Like, they are tag-teaming this man like it’s WWE,
throwing hands, kicking, swinging, while I just STAND THERE in shock.
And y’all… what did I do?
I RAN.
I took my pepper spray, grabbed my drink, and DIPPED.
And that, my friends, is how I accidentally stole a man,
exposed a serial cheater, and started a literal brawl at a party.
Moral of the story?
Never trust a man named Henry. They are built for the streets.
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