Long before smartphones and oat milk, there was one ritual all homo sapiens shared. A sacred, unavoidable act. Pooping. I'm the beginning, there was chaos. And then... there was bowel movement. Long before nations, before currency, even before the concept of Monday, there was the clench. From ancient caves to porcelain thrones, humans have always answered nature's call loudly. Our ancestors didn't just hunt and gather. They squatted and they prayed. Before plumbing, before privacy, before Charmin Ultra Soft, there were leaves. stones. and the occasional unfortunate hand. Then the Romans said, "Let's poop together." Public toilets. No stalls. Just cheeks out, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Steve the butcher and Maria the maid. And the wipe? A sponge on a stick. That they shared. They were intimate fellows. In the medieval era, the streets were alive with the sounds of commerce, footsteps, and human feces. They had swords. They had kings. And zero clue what hygiene was. And yet... they pooped. Constantly. Aggressively. In buckets. They opened a window and threw it directly onto the street. But not without warning. No, they had manners. They'd lean out and shout, "Gardyloo!" Which was basically medieval for, "Move, bitch."