STORYTIME PART 2: When Luca Found Out I Stole His Man⌠And Then WE Found Out We ALL Got Played.
YâALL. YâALL. YâALL.
I did NOT think this situation could get worseâbut OH BOY, DID IT.
So letâs backtrack. If you missed Part 1, basically:
Luca, my ex-best friend, stole my kitten when we were
7 years old and gave her back 12 years later⌠as ASHES in a plastic bag.
In revenge, I accidentally stole his boyfriend, Henry.
We hooked up behind Lucaâs back. Oops.
WELL. HENRY FELT GUILTY.
So, this man just decides to CONFESS EVERYTHING to Luca.
And lemme tell you, when Luca found out? HE. LOST. IT.
So fast forward to this party, right? Iâm out here, minding my business,
looking cute, living my best life.
And then BOOMâin storms Luca, foaming at the mouth like a damn rabid dog,
looking ready to end my entire bloodline.
Heâs screaming:
âWHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS THAT SNAKE-ASS BITCH?!â
I pretend I donât hear him.
But then Henry, this idiot, has the AUDACITY to say:
âUh⌠sheâs right there.â
LIKE??? BABE. WHY.
So Luca locks eyes with me, and I just KNOW itâs about to go down.
He lunges at me, fists clenched, but BABYâI came prepared.
I pull out my pepper spray, hit him RIGHT in the face, and this man
SCREAMS like he just got possessed by a demon.
Iâm talking:
âAHHHHHHHH, MY EYES! MY F*ING EYES!!â
EVERYONE is watching. Itâs a WHOLE scene.
Then, out of nowhere, this random-ass girl appears,
clinging onto Henry like a lost puppy, and sheâs like:
âUm⌠whatâs going on?â
Me and LucaâBOTH temporarily setting aside our differencesâlook at her and go:
âWHO THE F*ck ARE YOU?''
And she, still clutching onto Henry, goes:
âUm⌠Iâm Emma⌠Henryâs girlfriend?â
âŚ..EXCUSE ME?
Henry looks like he just got hit by a freight train.
Heâs sweating, eyes darting around like heâs planning his own escape route.
Luca and I look at each other.
Then Luca turns back to Henry, cracks his knuckles, and says:
âThatâs crazy because IâM Henryâs boyfriend. And Priscilla over here?
Sheâs ALSO his girlfriend.â
SILENCE.
Emma? Sheâs stunned.
Thenâout of nowhereâthis girl lets out a SCREAM,
jumps on Henry, and starts BEATING HIS ASS.
AND LUCA?
HE JOINS IN.
Like, they are tag-teaming this man like itâs WWE,
throwing hands, kicking, swinging, while I just STAND THERE in shock.
And yâall⌠what did I do?
I RAN.
I took my pepper spray, grabbed my drink, and DIPPED.
And that, my friends, is how I accidentally stole a man,
exposed a serial cheater, and started a literal brawl at a party.
Moral of the story?
Never trust a man named Henry. They are built for the streets.
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