iim so fucking disgusting, I let my bedroom clutter so much there were literally bugs under my bed and piles of clothes everywjere. I couldn't move at all even if I tried REALLY hard, god I'm so fucking lazy. I also struggle with basic hygeine, like showering. not even JUST showering, I can't learn ANY FUCKING THING. riding a bike, swimming, comforting, talking, manners, ANYTHING. iim so fucking suicidal atm uhhh... another thing is I can't stop thinking about sex. I think about it everyday, and I just feel guilty and have a breakdown after I get off. I really can't do it anymore, people have it way worse but I just CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE,, I'm only 12 and these thoughts started when I was fucking FIVE. ii hate jerking off with all of my life and I don't even know if I'm hypersexual or just weird in general, but I know definitely for sure I am. this may seem attention seeking, but I swear. I'm a bad person and i can't do anything but lay in my bed all day. I'm gonna do it I swear to fucking god, these fuckass antidepressants aren't working and I feel even WORSE?? why do I exist?? if God is good, then why has he made me to be like this? why hasn't he protected me from COCSA? Why has he chosen me to be born in this reality? Trump, unconsensual touching, this world is just HORRIBLE in general !! And WHY, just WHY do I still feel suicidal and thinking about self harm when I have a loving family, pets, and friends. I'm just doing this to myself I swear
My bad guys! Finn out!