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10 mo. ago
CBenson1273
It’s Been Hard Watching My Parents Struggle With My Deäth
It was a cold winter afternoon the day that I di£d.
My parents had taken me out to skate on the lake - I’d begged them all morning - and watched in horror as the ice cracked beneath me. My father had tried to save me, but it wasn’t meant to be.
I don’t know what I was expecting - a bright light, pearly gates - but there was nothing. I just… stayed. Unable to move on, I watched them as they grıeve.
They struggled, as you’d expect. My mother made all the funεral arrangements, but she was completely emotionless - it was like all her light had been snuffled out. All of our family tried to offer condolences, but they slid right off of her with no reaction except the expected words. My father was worse - he became disconsolate. He barely left the house except on days when I’d see him sitting at the lake, staring out at the place where I’d fallen through and he’d been unable to save me. He shouldn’t have blamed himself - I didn’t - but he did anyway. I never blamed him or Mom - it wasn’t their fault. I just wished I weren’t so alonȩ.
As you’d expect, with a wife who šhut down emotionally and a husband who couldn’t stop hatıng himself, their marriage began to suffer. Friends and family tried to help, but there was nothing they could say. My father returned to work but was a shell of himself; my mother went through the motions but began sleepıng every night in my room. I wished so much that there was something I could do, but I wasn’t really there. My wishes, like my bödy, were immaterial.
They kept drifting further and further apart, living two separate lives in the same house. They tried therapy, but they either couldn’t talk or said hateful things that made it worse. I think they both knew they were headed toward divorce.
Then the anniversary of my deäth came. Mom was sitting in her room, silently, when she went into their bedroom, threw her arms around my father, and burst into těars. Surprised, he held her and crièd, too. It was like all the paın of the past year came out in one bûrst.
After that, they slowly began healing their relationship. She moved back into the bedroom and they began spending time together, going out on date night's and reconnecting. Soon, they were pr€gnant with another chıld.
The pregnancy went smoothly and they were soon blessed with a baby girl, Grace. They pampered her and watched her like a hawk, thanking God everyday for their second chance.
Then, one night, they walked into her room and found her påssed away. SIDS, the doctor's said - there was nothing they could have done.
It’s hard watching them go through it again. I pray they’ll makę it.
But I had no chøice. I can’t take being alonȩ anymore, and I’ve always wanted a sister.