{VENT!!!}
Sometimes I just wake up and I know it's gonna' be a bad day, and I know I can't do anything about it.
Even if everything goes right, sometimes, at the end of the day, I just can't be happy. I've tried
to find the good in everything and just "be happy!" but it's not that simple. My psychiatrist said it's
probably because of my anxiety and depression, and she wants to put me on meds, but my parents
are against all medications until I'm legally an adult. It doesn't matter how bad I need it, or what for. They just
seem to think that there are natural cures for everything. I'm pretty sure this is hereditary depression, as my sister
also has depression, and it could've been passed down from our parents or something idfk. It just keeps getting
worse. Because I wish I could be okay with my body, I wish I could go at least one day without being overly-paranoid
about one thing or another. I have therapy, and it is helping a little, but there's only so much
it can do. I'm just scared that my partner will leave me, or that they never even cared about me
in the first place. The hallucinations are getting more frequent and it's getting harder to decipher
what's real and what's fake. Panic attacks are pretty frequent, too. I've also been having more
psychotic breaks. Anyways sorry that was longer than I meant to make it, bye stay safe x3
---ASH0NP4WZZ