Funny Bios Emojis & Text

• If I'm not online, that means I'm either sleeping or dead. Please respect my decision. • I almost dropped my phone on the carpet, but luckily, I used my fast reflexes to smack it into the wall instead. • Here for the lulz. • I'm the reason why you can't have nice things. • Too lazy to change this bio. • Ew, people. • I'm the most humble person. • I'm not really here. • I'm in a relationship with Netflix. Don't judge me. • If I don't respond, it means I'm ignoring you. So don't take it personally.

• I'm an idiot and I do stupid things. Please be patient with me. • If I can't bring my dog, I'm not going. • I'm in another world right now. Please leave a message after the tone. • I'm too tired to think of a clever bio. • I'm a hot mess. • I'm in a committed relationship with <your fav food/show/brand/website/etc>. • Please don't talk to me. • By reading this you legally forgo any right to unfollow me. • I'm a nice person, but if you cross me, I will cry. • I hope you like cats, because I have approximately eleventy billion of them. • A baddie with a good heart. • I'm the type of person who will accidentally drop food on the floor and then just stare at it for a while. • I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social. • I'm not rude, I'm honest.

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• I'm the human form of the 100 emoji. [replace 100 with any emoji] • I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry. • I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy-saving mode. • I'm in a relationship with my bed. We sleep together every night. • If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best. • If you can't handle me at my worst, then I honestly don't blame you because I am a mess 😌 • I'm the type of person who will burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. • I'm not short, I'm fun-sized. • I'm the type of person who will say "goodnight" and then keep talking.