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pls note the ai inflicts emotional damage (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
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🌸 .poem Like you’re there, holding me, I hate you so much it hurts. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Die Die Die Die I wish you could be someone else. Someone that could take care of me like I deserve. I guess we’re both selfish in that way. You used me and manipulated me, I couldn’t protect myself because I didn't trust myself. That nagging feeling in my chest saying I wasn't safe with you, it’s taken all this time to realize I never needed you. You can't fill that void within me no matter how hard you try, because you have nothing to give yourself. That feeling of failure when I was around you, for expressing who I was. I was a story to you, a story to be edited and commented on, altered, renewed, hated, reviewed. I was never a person, I was a workpiece for your own success. I was never finalized by you. And that stings. You say I'm mature for my age, but it’s only because I had to raise myself. Well you fucked other woman, i was suffering inside. I hope you’re happy, but i need to be happy too, i want myself to be happy more than anyone. When I became the person you wanted to be, only then did you love me. That person is dead because I've killed them. Tired of walking around aimlessly, I want to become someone I love to be. And thank god you didnt raise me, i thank god every day you were too busy to give me the love i needed from a parent. Because instead of your control, I have a person who loves and understands me more than anyone ever could. Me. This was not part of the plan. I’m just a goal achiever. My purpose is nowhere beyond the expression of someone else's soul. I feel there’s a shock collar around my throat, one wrong word and I'm out. What will he do when I don't play my role? Will he hurt me? What am I without these achievements? An achievement I don't want is all I've been chasing. I’m only here for your ladder. To help you through your life because you own mine. There’s a fence I can't cross and on the other side is my freedom after your death. Somewhere in these streets is my happiness, I'm not controlled anymore. I don't have to be anything, I don't have to serve anybody. I don’t have to do anything. What's there to do? I can learn how to dance, I can even do a split, I can move like Shakira, I can sing like Beyonce, I can play the guitar, shit I can even jump to the ceiling and pretend you’re watching me. Pretend you’re around to fill what you left inside of me. But I pour my heart out and bleed and the only person to clean me up is me. But I still have to serve you. I pour and pour from an empty cup till my love is no good for anybody. Murder and murder, stab and stab, blood after blood, person after person, those men are dead. I can laugh for hours about what I did to them. You think I care? I’ve never lived for me, I've never lived free. I’ve lived because I had to, and that's all I’ve ever known. I don’t trust him. There's a glass door between me and the person I so badly want to be accepted. His love is earned, it’s a prize to be won and I'm the girl who's never good enough for him. I’m just the girl he didn’t find worth getting hurt for. I was a pawn in this man’s game, and i don't want to play. I want to rest. I want to drift away. I want to be better. I wanted to be the one to fix him so badly, but everytime i came back, thinking this relationship could be fixed. I came out again with tears. I realized soon enough that you couldn't show up for me, and when I kicked you out of my life because I'm sobbing, I'm cold, and alone and I have nobody, the only thing you can say is I wasn't helpful. I enjoy crying, I like to pretend like someone’s there, like someone cares.
₊ ・ ₊ ₊ ° ☆ ₊ ⋆. ⟡ ₊ ・ ₊ ₊ ° ☆ ₊ ★ ⊹ ∩――――∩. ⟡ ₊ ・ ₊ || ᕬ..ᕬ ||. ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ ⟡ ₊ ・ || (。-ᆺ-。)| ₊ ° ☆ |ノ^⌒⌒づ` ̄\ ( ノ  ⌒ \ || \.  || ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|| \,ノ|| || || ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|| 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁❟ 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲❟ 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗿𝘆❟ 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝘆 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲❟ 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘃𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿。
𝑨 𝒑𝒐𝒆𝒎 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒆: 𝑪𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝑺𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒃𝒚, 𝒂𝒔 𝑰'𝒎 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆. 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒘 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒘, 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆. 𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒑𝒂𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅. 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒘𝒔. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆. 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒋𝒖𝒎𝒑. 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚. 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅. 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅. 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂 𝒄𝒂𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆.
✎ᝰ ˚☽˚.⋆ ⊹ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆🌷💌❤
✎ᝰ ˚☽˚.⋆ ⊹ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆🌷

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