STORYTIME PART 2: When Luca Found Out I Stole His Manโฆ And Then WE Found Out We ALL Got Played.
YโALL. YโALL. YโALL.
I did NOT think this situation could get worseโbut OH BOY, DID IT.
So letโs backtrack. If you missed Part 1, basically:
Luca, my ex-best friend, stole my kitten when we were
7 years old and gave her back 12 years laterโฆ as ASHES in a plastic bag.
In revenge, I accidentally stole his boyfriend, Henry.
We hooked up behind Lucaโs back. Oops.
WELL. HENRY FELT GUILTY.
So, this man just decides to CONFESS EVERYTHING to Luca.
And lemme tell you, when Luca found out? HE. LOST. IT.
So fast forward to this party, right? Iโm out here, minding my business,
looking cute, living my best life.
And then BOOMโin storms Luca, foaming at the mouth like a damn rabid dog,
looking ready to end my entire bloodline.
Heโs screaming:
โWHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS THAT SNAKE-ASS BITCH?!โ
I pretend I donโt hear him.
But then Henry, this idiot, has the AUDACITY to say:
โUhโฆ sheโs right there.โ
LIKE??? BABE. WHY.
So Luca locks eyes with me, and I just KNOW itโs about to go down.
He lunges at me, fists clenched, but BABYโI came prepared.
I pull out my pepper spray, hit him RIGHT in the face, and this man
SCREAMS like he just got possessed by a demon.
Iโm talking:
โAHHHHHHHH, MY EYES! MY F*ING EYES!!โ
EVERYONE is watching. Itโs a WHOLE scene.
Then, out of nowhere, this random-ass girl appears,
clinging onto Henry like a lost puppy, and sheโs like:
โUmโฆ whatโs going on?โ
Me and LucaโBOTH temporarily setting aside our differencesโlook at her and go:
โWHO THE F*ck ARE YOU?''
And she, still clutching onto Henry, goes:
โUmโฆ Iโm Emmaโฆ Henryโs girlfriend?โ
โฆ..EXCUSE ME?
Henry looks like he just got hit by a freight train.
Heโs sweating, eyes darting around like heโs planning his own escape route.
Luca and I look at each other.
Then Luca turns back to Henry, cracks his knuckles, and says:
โThatโs crazy because IโM Henryโs boyfriend. And Priscilla over here?
Sheโs ALSO his girlfriend.โ
SILENCE.
Emma? Sheโs stunned.
Thenโout of nowhereโthis girl lets out a SCREAM,
jumps on Henry, and starts BEATING HIS ASS.
AND LUCA?
HE JOINS IN.
Like, they are tag-teaming this man like itโs WWE,
throwing hands, kicking, swinging, while I just STAND THERE in shock.
And yโallโฆ what did I do?
I RAN.
I took my pepper spray, grabbed my drink, and DIPPED.
And that, my friends, is how I accidentally stole a man,
exposed a serial cheater, and started a literal brawl at a party.
Moral of the story?
Never trust a man named Henry. They are built for the streets.
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