Plankton: What do we got here? Oh, goody. Holographic meatloaf again! When am I gonna get some real food? Mr. Krabs gets to eat real food. Just look at his daughter, she's a big as a whale. I wish I could be successful like Mr. Krabs. I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him. Just to know what it's like.
Karen: Then why don't you just use that "Switch-Lives-Just-To-Know-What-It's-Like-O-Mogrifier" thing you built last Tuesday?
Plankton: What a brilliant idea! Your parents must have been like, part computer or something.
(Plankton sits down in front of the Switch-Lives-Just-To-Know-What-It's-Like-O-Mogrifier.)
Plankton: Now, let's see.
(A picture of a dolphin shows up on the Switch-Lives-Just-To-Know-What-It's-Like-O-Mogrifier.)
Plankton: No... no...
(Finally, a picture of a krab shows up.)
Plankton: Ahah!
(Plankton buckles up.)
Plankton: Well, I hate to leave you Karen, but you know what they say... a rolling ston gathers no algae!
(Plankton goes through a hole of space and time.)
Plankton: Ahhhhhhhhh!
(Plankton stops to get a drink of soda, then starts screaming again. Later, Plankton wakes up at Mr. Krabs' desk.)
Plankton: Ugh... dear Neptune above, what happened last night? Huh, what's this?
(Plankton picks up a name plate reading Mr. Plankton.)
Plankton: Mister Plankton?
(Plankton picks up a picture of Pearl.)
Plankton: Who the Davey?
(Plankton looks out the office windows and sees people eating Krabby Patties.)
Plankton: I'm in the Krusty Krab... which mean the life switcher was a success! The Krusty Krab is mine!
SpongeBob: Order up! Two deluxe Krabby Patties.
(Plankton's eye turns into a Krabby Patty.)
Plankton: At last!
(SpongeBob delivers food to customer.)
SpongeBob: There you are sir. Two deluxe...
(Plankton appears at the table.)
SpongeBob: Ahoy there, Mr. Plankton.
(Plankton runs back to his office.)
Plankton: All mine, it's finnaly all mine! The patties, the wealth, the notoriety!
(Plankton sees SpongeBob in his office.)
Plankton: SpongeBob, what do you want?
SpongeBob: Well, it's just that it's Tuesday again, sir, and I was wondering if I could have my, ummm... weekly performance review!
Plankton: Review?
SpongeBob: Oh yes, please sir!
Plankton: Eh, you're doing fine. Now leave me to my work.
SpongeBob: But sir!
Plankton: I thought I sent you away, Cretin.
SpongeBob: But sir, there must be something I need to improve on. Anything!
Plankton: All right, the sauce. I dunno, you're using too much sauce, okay? Review's over.
(SpongeBob's face changes.)
SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh...
Plankton: What's the matter with you? All I said was "A little too much sauce." It's no big deal, really.
SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh...
Plankton: What do you want from me, a promotion?
(SpongeBob's face changes back to normal.)
SpongeBob: A pro- a promo- a promotion?!
Plankton: Uh, sure kid, you're uh... you're on register now.
SpongeBob: Register!
(SpongeBob leaves. Plankton gets back to the Krabby Patties.)
Plankton: Glad that's over.
(Squidward's standing at the cash register reading a book, when he realizes that SpongeBob is standing right next to him.)
Squidward: SpongeBob, remember that little talk we had about 'personal space'?
SpongeBob: It's okay, Squidward. I'm official, look!
(SpongeBob points out his badge that says Co-Cashier.)
Squidward: Co-Cashier?
(Plankton is sitting at a table with the two Krabby Patties.)
(Squidward storm in to Mr. Plankton's office.)
Squidward: You can't do this to me! If you think I'm going to stand out there all day listening to "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe!
Plankton: So what do you want me to do about it?
(Now SpongeBob appears at the table, next to Plankton.)
SpongeBob: I tried Mr. Plankton, I really did.
Plankton: What now?
SpongeBob: A customer ordered a medium drink, and I gave him a large! I gave him a large! I've soiled the good Krusty Krab name! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!
Plankton: I command you to stop that. Stop that and return to your post!
(Plankton pushes his hand is SpongeBob's chest, in hopes that he'll stop.)
Plankton: Where's the off button on this thing?
(Something red flashed by.)
Plankton: What was that?
SpongeBob: Man your stations! Red alert! Red alert! Take cover!
(All the customers scream, and run to take cover.)
Plankton: Take cover from what?!
(SpongeBob's up in the crow's nest searching for him.)
SpongeBob: He's around here somewhere.
(SpongeBob sees the red flash by once again.)
SpongeBob: There he goes!
Plankton: What? Who? Where? Somebody tell me.
Other Fish: Some say he crawled out from the lowest trench in the ocean.
Pearl:And he's the saltiest of all the sea dogs.
SpongeBob: He's the most hated creature in Bikini Bottom.
(It was Mr. Krabs but without his clothes)
Mr. Krabs: And he's finally got a Krabby Patty! Ar, ar, ar, har!
Plankton: Krabs? What the barnacle is going on here?
SpongeBob: It's your arch competitor, Krabs. His goal in life is to steal a Krabby Patty and ruin our restaurant.
Plankton: That's terrible!
Plankton: Ahhhhhhhhh!
(Plankton goes back.)
Plankton: It's not worth it, it's just not worth it! Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy.